Just Make it Stop

August 6, 2012 § 3 Comments



The other day I experienced something that I assume everyone experiences at least once during their lifetime.

I was ditched. 

Long story short, I was left behind because I was with a friend that my other friends are not particularity fond of.  Actually, they all hate her. Since they didn’t want her around, we both got blown off. One of my best friends said she was going home, when really an entire group was hanging out.

This puts me in a classic teenage-girl scenario: Do I ditch the girl the girl that’s holding me back from hanging out with my other friends? In a movie I would, but this isn’t a crappy chick flick. Of I won’t leave her, because that goes against basic human morals. What sort of person would I be if I compromised a friendship, that is definitely a top “no-no” in the girl code.

I am furious with my other friends for placing me in the predicament, as I often put up with people I do not enjoy being around for the sake of the group. This whole situation has me thinking about how horribly teens treat each other, especially girls. I am constantly afraid that my friends don’t actually like me, which is not a feeling you want. However that could be a direct result of my own paranoia and trust issues (which actually stem from the way an old friend treated me freshman year).

I realize this makes my social life seem a lot rougher than it is. I do have friends that I have complete faith it, but when they pull stunts like the other night it messes with my head. I am not really sure how to wrap this up, but I’d like to open this post up for discussion. I’m sure others have been in similar situations and advice is always appreciated


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§ 3 Responses to Just Make it Stop

  • crpeterson says:

    I have definitely been there. What I would ask myself is why doesn’t your group of friends like your other friend? Is it because she is rude, gossips a lot, or is known for stealing boyfriends? Then I say ditch the girl. Is it because they feel threatened or just don’t think she is cool enough or something else superficial? Then you are doing the right thing by not ditching her and acting like a true friend would.

    The best thing to do, in my opinion, is have a heart to heart with your group of friends. Tell them you want them to be honest with you about why they don’t want to hang out with her, and that them lying to you hurts you. If there is ONE thing I’ve learned it’s that bullies HATE being called out and being confronted. When I was able to start confronting my bullies, my life completely changed. They start respecting you and knowing they can’t walk all over you.

    Hang in there, it gets better.

    • heathersbee says:

      Thanks for your advice (:
      I have spoken to the friend who lied to me and received an apology already.
      I am standing by the friend that my friends do not like because my philosophy is that I will not discontinue a friendship unless they’ve done something that victimizes personally. As she hasn’t been rude or gossiped about me, and hasn’t stolen any guy I’ve been openly interested in, I will continue being her friend.

      • crpeterson says:

        Well you are a good friend and the world (and high school) would be a lot more tolerable if more people had the same mindset as you! Glad it seems to be working out!

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