“You’re doing the mature thing”
September 14, 2012 § Leave a comment
The thing about always taking the high road is that is gets pretty lonely up here.
I know walking the mature path is whats supposed to benefit you in the long run, but where on earth has it lead me?
I know the sayings:
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
Two wrongs don’t make a right!
Don’t fight fire with fire.
They forget to mention that if you don’t whip out your fire, you get walked all over. So there are my options: create a bigger problem, or take the passive approach and become a human punching bag.
It’s been a rough couple of days. Somewhere along the line I was unfairly designated a good friend’s scapegoat and received an unnecessary amount of cruelty for a situation that I was not a part of. Granted, I knew about it, but I was stuck between friends in a thick pool of secrets. What a classic “don’t tell her I told you but…” situation.
I was just an innocent spectator on the sidelines. I didn’t even want to be there but I was dragged on to that field without realizing, and from there conflict was inevitable.
I had two obligations:
1. Keep a good friends secret
2. Tell another good friend that secret, as it was in her best interest to know.
So basically, there was no way to win, so I transformed into the human punching bag when friend #2 heard what had happened. And I sat there and took her blows, biting my tongue.
So here I am, sitting up on the high road, feet dangling in all of this empty space. I could jump, in fact I’d love to jump and sink to everyone else’s level. I’m tempted, all of this translucent air is taunting me. What would it be like to not do that mature thing for once? How would it feel to let all my real feelings lose?
Everyone else seems allowed to make stupid decisions, maybe it’s my turn to take a stab at it.