Haters Gonna Hate, Potatoes gonna Potate.

November 28, 2012 § 1 Comment

To begin, I’d like to apologize for dropping off the face off wordpress for the last couple of months. The show consumed nearly all of my time, and any free second that it forgot was immediately snatched up by homework. Needless to say, I was pretty swamped.

However, eight packed weeks of nonstop work paid off more than I ever expected. While tackling my part was nerve wracking, frustrating, and very uncomfortable at times, the gratification I received at the end of the process was nothing short of glorious. For that one week of shows, I was a celebrity. Showered in waves of compliments, I had never felt more appreciated.

The celebration came to an abrupt halt when some very startling news met me at school on Monday morning. I was told that a cruel article, relentlessly bashing the show and actors, had been passed out during our Friday night show. As if  from a scene from some crappy teen film, a black hooded mystery person had sneaked in to the auditorium during intermission and threw these papers in to the audience with no remorse. Upon discovery, the papers were collected before any company members had a chance to see them. A destructively curious side of me longed to read the article, while another part of me knew I did not want to see what it said. I am sure you can guess which half ultimately had it’s way.

When I returned home from striking the set on Monday I was sent a link that lead to the article on facebook. Upon reading it, I was devastated. The author acknowledged the quality of my singing, but immediately proceed to say that a different actress deserved the part more.

Oh, the anger.

Rage bubbled up inside of me like a tea kettle on the verge of a boil. I wanted to slam doors, punch walls, and most of all, find this “ghost writer” and give them “a fucking piece of my fucking mind.” I could not believe what I had read. All my hard work put to shame by some faceless stranger behind a screen. For a brief second, the whole show was ruined, soiled by one negative review.

Then, closure.

It is absurd to assume that everyone would like my performance, or even the show. Where there is glory, there is also criticism. While the negative comments hurt, they show me where I have gotten in these past three years of high school drama.  Once a freshman face that no one recognized or knew, I have become a face that inspires these younger students. I have become a face that receives compliments and recognition, but along with this success comes the pain of being disliked. While it may kill in the moment, I have learned to embrace this hatred, because at the end of the day I still have the success that no one can deprive me of.

 

Can I get a drum roll please?

September 23, 2012 § 1 Comment

…and after a nail biting two days, the cast list has been posted. I’m glad that I can say it only generated great news!

I am officially the luckiest girl, and will be playing the lead role of Hope Cladwell in “Urinetown” this fall! Yes, the show’s title is off putting but even that can’t dampen my spirits.

Thursday was stressful, Friday was painful. Just thinking about the mystery surrounding the cast list was enough to send a metaphysical knife sailing into my gut. Checking the clock every five minutes grew more difficult with each passing interval, but somehow I made it to the last ten minutes of the day. Then I had to face the walk. The typical thirty second commute from the chorus classroom to the location of the cast list stretched for miles and ended abruptly at a dense crowd of people. I couldn’t look, but I had to. The next two months of my life depended on that sheet of paper.

Hope Cladwell…followed by my name. Could it be true? I still don’t completely believe it.

Glorious moments such as these are the reason I do theatre. Granted, they only come after my lowest moments. Being cut from the musical my freshman year was devastating to say the least, being rejected from the Christmas revels chorus hurt as well, and not making the winter play was a huge disappointment.  With each cut and insignificantly small role my frustration only grew further. My dad would comfort me by saying my time would come, that eventually people would recognize me. He told me to stick to it and I could only move up.

Dedication and patience can only pay off.  I know that I’ll face waves of brutal rejection in the future, but for now I am going to bask in the light.

Swiftly Approaching the Climax

September 20, 2012 § Leave a comment

Happy audition week everyone!
It’s that time of year again and my stomach is in knots. The fall musical is competitive, and I’m fighting for a spot.

Monday I auditioned with my song and monologue, and left feeling unfulfilled. It was a long two day wait until the callback list was posted yesterday, but somehow my name found its way on there. I had the privilege of reading for the female lead all afternoon.

There’s the problem with callbacks: you begin just wanting any part in the show, no matter how small, but callbacks introduce you to this wonderful lead. I’ve realized how amazing having this big role would be, but I have to keep forcing my hopes down and remind myself that I haven’t even been cast yet. It doesn’t help that all of a sudden I’ve been thrust in to some crappy ABC family movie, and am competing with two of my best friends for this part.

I did give it all  I had though, that’s one thing I am certain about. If I don’t get cast in this role at least I can be confident that I held nothing back at callbacks. That’s what it’s about it in the end I guess. You win some and you lose some, but the real losers are the ones who lost because they gave up. If this role slips away from my grasp, there’s always next year to bounce back!

The cast list will be posted Friday afternoon. After school. I cringe just thinking about the two six and a half hour days that I’ll have to endure before I receive closure. Including tonight, that’s over thirty two hours! Alright, it’s time to stop torturing myself with this math and regulate my heart beat. That’s something you become so accustomed to through theatre, the feeling that a monster hand is residing in your chest and squeezing your heart. Yet, I stick with it. The uphill battle is almost over, just two days until I reach the peak. I can see it where the end is supposed to be, but I just can’t seem to make it out through all of this fog.

Superstar Success!

August 4, 2012 § Leave a comment

I absolutely love performing. I may not shine in class or at crew, but the stage is mine.

When I first saw the cast list, I wasn’t happy (to say the least). Another ensemble role this summer after scoring the role of Amber in “Hairspray” last fall was hardly a come-up.

I dreaded beginning this summer’s musical from the moment the cast list came out until the first day of rehearsals. However, through the exasperating and frustrating rehearsal process, I somehow grew to love my role as priest one.

For those who are not familiar with the show “Jesus Christ Super Star” (or the bible in general)  the roman priests are anti-jesus (hence the song “Jesus must die). They hate Jesus from the beginning of the show until the end, and are partially responsible for his death.

There is something very thrilling about playing the villain (or bad guy, if you will). Although the audience hates you in the end, and you may have to wear ridiculous black robes, its ultimately the most fun role to play.  Everyone in the priest ensemble embraced their roles with a great deal of enthusiasm, and it definitely paid off.

So if you haven’t already guessed, the show went much better than expected. After a great deal of stress over my misplaced black shoes (which unfortunately never actually turned up) and the verge of a mental breakdown, the show ran smoothly and we all really enjoyed ourselves. Tonight’s run was even better and the energy was sky high.

Despite the stress leading up to last night’s run, I remained faithful to the life lesson I wrote about the other day. I gave my role all I had, and it paid off. People noticed my dedication, and all of the hard work I had put in to developing my character.

I’m eagerly awaiting tomorrow’s final run, the ending is bitter-sweet. This journey has tested my strength as a human being and as an actress, and confirmed my love of theatre.

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